Writing Again, by Shawn Li

“Where do I begin?” I wonder. The last time I wrote for actual public consumption was in the blogging eras of the early 2000s. Our social networks then, pre-Facebook, cultivated the practice of writing, a natural direction of public penmanship for an audience (our friends), and we could report on the days’ musings (anything, really). The week’s theme, as we saw it. The daily perspective, as we thunk it. There was something very natural about blogging on a platform where all your friends had their accounts, too. We were all reading one another’s public diaries. Experimentation would let us play with the format, and we would get to know the inner minds of our friends a bit more…

I would think of themes to write about. I would ponder my word choice, I would write down a turn of a phrase in my drafts to flesh out later. It was always more interesting to write for an audience than it ever was for myself.

Writing for myself served more as an outlet for my leaking emotions. My journal entries from adolescence and well into my 20s were of the “I am so lonely” variety – the dates, the crushes, the fleeting disappointments of idealizing another person to make me feel better about the rest of my life. Slowly, slowly, over time, I grew out of that torturously natural cycle. It was a combination of miraculous spiritual encounters (sort of), acceptance (yay!), and maturing (I think). Journaling was never a precious ritual for me. The scribbles weren’t satisfying, but they scratched the itch for expression just a little bit. Writing was part of the process to search for my words, but it was never the sole route. It was much more relieving to feel what I was feeling, whether I ever gathered the words or not.

Public journaling, in the form of having a blog audience, is much more interesting. It challenges me to formulate a message through broader themes of curiosity and awe. Now, as I peek into my next phase, I can see how I approach life with those themes, making each day so sweet…even when it’s, quite honestly, not. There’s a certain wonder to going after goals that haven’t been baked into full-fledged plans, yet.

Focus, Shawn. Finish what you started. Write your way through it, and discover where you’ll go together.

by Shawn Li

We hope you enjoyed this lovely essay by Shawn Li. We are so excited to start sharing writing from our community, starting with our Strala writing group. If you are interested in sharing your writing on strala, learn more here.